Many people who have made a will have never told anyone where it is. Usually the place is not the secret. It is the worry that the conversation will slide into the other question: what does it say?
Those are two different questions, and you can answer one without the other. Your family needs to be able to find the will when the time comes. They do not need to know what is in it today. This post is about giving them the first without the second.
Why the "where" matters so much
A will can only be followed if it is found. When nobody knows where the signed original is, the people left behind search drawers, ring solicitors they think you might have used, and sometimes end up working from an old copy, or from nothing at all. All of that takes time they can hardly spare.
Knowing where to look turns a long search into one phone call. That is the whole gift, and it costs you nothing in privacy.
Write a short finding note
Start with a note of a few lines. It holds only what someone needs to find the will, and nothing about who receives what.
- That you have a will, and roughly when you signed it.
- Where the signed original is kept: with a solicitor or firm, at home, or somewhere else.
- The name and contact details of whoever holds it.
- Where your own copy is, if you have one.
- Who you have asked to carry out the will, the person often called the executor.
Leave the contents out. No amounts, no names next to the house or the savings, no explanations. If the note is ever read early, there is nothing in it that could upset anyone.
Choose who needs to know
Not everyone in the family needs the note. One or two people are usually enough.
The person you asked to carry out the will is the natural first choice. It helps to add one more person you trust, in case the first is unwell, away, or not able to help when the time comes. Some people tell a partner, some a grown-up child, some a close friend who will keep it to themselves.
It is also worth telling whoever holds the original that these people may get in touch one day, and asking what they would need from the family. Add the answer to the note.
Say it out loud, briefly
The conversation is usually much shorter than people expect. Something like this is enough:
"I've made a will. The original is with the solicitor in town, and there's a note in the desk drawer that says how to reach them. I'm not going to go through what's in it, and that isn't because there's anything to worry about. I just want you to be able to find it."
If they ask what it says, you can be kind and plain: "I'd like to keep that to myself for now. What matters is that you know where it is." Most people are glad to be trusted with the where, and do not press.
If you do want to talk about the contents with someone, that can be a separate conversation, on another day.
Places that feel safe but are hard to find
Some places feel secure but are hard for a family:
- Somewhere only you know. A hiding place at home is private, but it is no help once you are not there to point to it.
- A locked box only you can open. If the will is in a safe or a deposit box, check who else can open it and how. Your bank or your solicitor can tell you what your family would need.
- Your email or your computer. A scan is good to have, but it is not the signed original, and your family may not be able to get into your accounts.
None of these is wrong in itself. The question is always the same: if I were not here, could the person I chose find it and open it?
Keep the note current
Solicitors retire and firms merge. You move house, or make a new will. Each time, update the note, and tell the people who know about it. A note that points to the wrong place can send people looking in the wrong direction, because they trust it.
What to do this week
- Find out where your signed will is, if you are not sure. A call to the solicitor who drew it up usually settles it.
- Write the finding note: that the will exists, where it is, who holds it, and who carries it out.
- Choose one or two people to know about the note.
- Tell them, briefly, and let whoever holds the original know they may call one day.
- Put a reminder in your calendar to read the note again next year, perhaps on a birthday.
If you have not made a will yet, the note can say so. That is useful too, because it tells your family there is nothing to search for. The rules about wills and where they are kept vary from place to place, and this post is not legal advice; a solicitor can tell you what applies to you.
Keeping the note where it will be found
The note can live in a folder at home or anywhere the right person knows to look. If you would rather it stayed private until it is needed, Legacy Drawer lets you seal it for the people you choose: until it opens, they can see its title and your name, so they know it is there, and it opens for them on a date you pick or when you stop answering our check-in emails. However you keep it, the aim is the same. When the time comes, the people you trust know where to look, and what you decided stays yours until then.